Saturday, April 18, 2009

my right tube is good BUT...

So I had another HSG test done, nov. 2008.
oh man!!! That hurt so so much. I didn't think it was going to hurt so much. With my first test I had no pain at all. But- With this test, surprisingly my right tube is open. I thought my right tube was blocked like it was with my first test.
Most likely my left tube has become dilated, swollen/fluid filled due to endometriosis. Which that sometimes can happen, if you have endometriosis. There are other causes of a tube to become blocked like STD, or infections.

Anyways... I was very surprised that my right tube is open, I was thinking that endometriosis caused the right tube to be no good too.

Now that my right tube is open, I was going to discuss the option of possibly doing IUI with my R.E. but I didn't really have the opportunity of doing so.

I would love to try & become pregnant on my own. I personally believe that it's more difficult to become pregnant on my own due to my severe endo. It's probably affected my ovulation in some way. recurrance of endo cysts, due to that I"m not sure If I'm ovulating correctly, unless you do ovulate with endo cysts; I'm not really sure.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I feel a little depressed

Lets see... I know that getting pregnant should be pretty easy. But in my case it's more difficult, due to my severe endometriosis. The damage endo has caused makes me feel upset. I know I am young still 27 so I still have time to get pregnant.

It makes me pretty sad to hear of other women who have gotten pregnant:
My sister-in-law who has endometriosis had a difficult time getting pregnant, then she had an HSG test done with minor tubal blockage, & ended up getting pregnant; she has 4 boys now. I think that's wonderful for her.
My mother-in-law has told me that some woman, who had her tubes blocked miraculously became pregnant. For that woman I think that's wonderful.
Then my dr. who is in her 40's tells me she got pregnant, I am still young & I have time to get pregnant.

There is also the octuplet mother who got pregnant 6 times, then did IVF a 7th time- got pregnant with 8 babies. I feel so sad, due to the woman isn't married & she was able to become pregnant 7 times through IVF.
Then, Kate Gossling- she had PCOS, went through IUI got pregnant twice: first time had twins, 2nd time had 6 babies.
Then there is Michelle duggar- she's gotten pregnant 18 times.
It makes me feel a little sad, due to there are so many women getting pregnant.

The thing that nobody understands is I have severe endometriosis this has caused some damage to my reproductive organs. (blocked/dilated left fallopian tube). Slightly elevated FSH level, due to cysts & 3 surgeries. I think possibly I might have an issue with ovulation, due to getting cysts.
Dispite the fact I am young, I think it's a little more difficult for me to get pregnant.

what I wish the drs had told me

After doing 3 IVF cycles I was told that I have severe endometriosis, due to getting cysts. My dr. said First off I need to get rid of the implants, go on depo-lupron; Then we can do a 4th cycle.
Honestly I wish I was told all of this information before I ever started my first cycle. But I was told "oh you are young". Dispite the fact that I had severe endometriosis & 3 surgeries (this caused my FSH level to be slightly elevated). I was convinced to do 3 IVF cycles.
I honestly wish I never did IVF in the first place, I am very disappointed in the outcome.

It's so sad how some women go through IVF multiple times & spend multiple amounts of money in hopes of getting a baby, & not really gaurenteed a baby. I know that it's more likely that an older woman due to the fact that she is older, will not become pregnant through IVF. But in my case, I have severe endometriosis. I've had multiple surgeries, on my ovary which has messed up my follicle stimulation process. BUT... yet, I was told that I am young so IVF will work to get me pregnant. It makes me feel so so sad, to go through IVF 3 times & not be pregnant.


After hearing the hopeful news about IVF working to get me pregnant. My husband & I decided to go with Pacific Reproductive Center in So. California.

The head Dr. at the clinic Dr. Salem told my husband & I to purchase the 2 cycle package; we were also given the option of a 3rd cycle- in case it was needed (if the 2 cycles didn't work out).
With the 3rd cycle (if needed) we would pay the difference in cost.

With In-vitro fertilization it isn't cheap, usually not covered by health insurance. The price can be dependant upon each clinic. with The total cost of 3 cycles it cost around $30,000 (clinic charge & medication charge).

cycle #1: Before starting my stimulation medication I had an ultrasound done to check for a cyst on my ovary. If there is a cyst, & stimulation meds are started the cyst can grow.
It turned out that that there was another cyst on my ovary. I would need a cyst aspiration done to drain the cyst.
After the cyst aspiration was done, I started my stimulation medication.
With stimulation meds these are given by injections in the tummy (subQ.) & in the buttox muscle (intramuscular). The purpose of stimulation meds is to produce multiple embryos for fertilization. I was put on Lupron, gonal f, & menopur. The medication protocol is different for every woman, it's dependant on the case. With injections that's no fun to go through, I did it though for IVF.
While on stimulation meds I was monitored by ultrasound to track how the embryos were developing.
When my dr. felt the embyos were developed good enough I was told to take my HCG injection to prepare for my egg retrevial.
With the egg retreival I was put to sleep, due to it's pretty painful if you are awake. During the retreival I had 7 eggs in total & endometriomas (due to severe endo).
With my transfer (a few days later), I had 4 embryos transferred; in hopes that 1 would implant & I would become pregnant. With the embyros there were very poorly developed, but my husband & I were talked into doing the transfer.
I wasn't sure if I would become pregnant I was given about a 20% chance of becoming pregnant.
I waited a couple of weeks for my pregnancy test, not knowing what to expect. I went to the drs. office for my first pregnancy test. Later in the afternoon I got the results, it turned out that I was pregnant. My husband & I were so happy & very surprised, not expecting anything to happen.
I was supposed to go for my first ultrasound at 6 weeks pregnant. So I had my ultrasound done, as it turned out there was no heartbeat; I also had an empty sac. seeing this on the ultrasound made me feel devastated so upset. I was also told that I possibly could need a D&C due to miscarrying.
I made an appt. with my regular ob/gyn & he said that I was certainly going to miscarry.
For me to have my first IVF cycle work, that was so exciting; but the fact that I had a miscarriage was the hardest thing in the world.
With the miscarriage I remember having pretty horrible pain/painful cramping, & bleeding then the fetal tissue passed. I think after a couple days I started feeling better.
I had a D&C just to make sure I didn't get any infection.

IVF cycle #2: after my experience with the first IVF cycle, I did a 2nd cycle. With my follow-up appt. we discussed with the dr. increasing my medication dosage (in hopes of getting a lot more eggs than 7). I went in for another ultrasound to see if I had another cyst on my ovary. it happens that I did have another cyst on my ovary. I would need another cyst aspiration to take care of the cyst, before starting medication.
With being on medication I was monitored by ultrasound again. With my ultrasounds I was told that I had a lot of eggs, to me this sounded like the increased medication dosage was working.
After a couple ultrasounds I was ready for my retreival.
The morning I went in for my egg retreival I wasn't sure what to expect. I was put to sleep, when I woke up I asked how many eggs I had. I was told I had only one egg, which I started to cry. Everything else was an endo cyst. I still remember having tears in my eyes. Then my husband & I went home.
Later that afternoon, we got a call from the clinic saying the one egg I got ended up dying. This process was called "Parthenogenesis". That devestated me even more, due to I had nothing for my transfer.
I'm a little puzzled as to why i was told I had eggs, when they were endometriomas.

IVF cycle #3: So my husband & I decided to do a 3rd IVF cycle. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I did it anyways. We discussed a plan for my 3rd cycle which we seemed to like & was sure it would make a successful cycle this time. This time I went back to pretty much the same medication dosage as the first cycle. Since my response was pretty good.
I had another cyst, so I had another cyst aspiration done for the cyst. Then proceeded with my injections. i went in for frequent ultrasounds to moniter the process of the embyos.
I was finally ready for my egg retreival. I woke up after my egg retrevial & asked how many eggs there were. I was told that I had 6 eggs in total, I was very happy with getting 6 eggs. I wish it was more, but oh well.
a couple days later I was told that I could go for my transfer. The day of my transfer I was told how many eggs in total I had, which was 5 really good developed eggs. The 5 eggs were much better than my first cycle. We decided to transfer all 5 eggs, in hopes that a couple of them would stick, or hopefully 1.
I was for sure positive that I would become pregnant, since I had 5 eggs transferred. I waited a week & a half for my 1st pregnancy test. I went for my pregnancy test in the morning, later that afternoon; I got a call & my pregnancy test came up negative. I was very surprised that I wasn't pregnant. In total I think I got about 3 pregnancy tests from the clinic. I even did a Home pregnancy test to make sure.
I started crying when I found out I for sure wasn't pregnant. I thought that everything was so perfect & would work, & I would have a couple of babies or at least 1 baby- since we transferred 5 embryos.

Truthfully I am not sure what to think about my IVF experience. I thought It would have worked & I would have my baby. For it not to work is very surprising to me. I was told that I was young & getting pregnant would be so easy, dispite the fact I have endometriosis.
I feel pretty upset & devastated that I went through IVF & it didnt' work.

IVF hoping for my miracle

what exactly is IVF (In-vitro fertilization)? This is where the embryo is fertilized with the sperm & then put back inside the woman's uterus. With IVF it by-passes the fallopians tubes, in hopes of the woman becoming pregnant. alot of the time IVF does work out, sometimes it takes a few tries before a woman is able to become pregnant.

Lets see... With doing IVF, at first I was pretty excited about the whole process: being able to become pregnant & have a baby. My ob/gyn told me that IVF should work because I am very young. Also If I was pregnant, it would relieve the symptoms of endometriosis. When you become pregnant you stop your period, with having endometriosis & having a period this causes a lot of pain due to excess bleeding from the implants & inflammation as well.

Before starting IVF I went & had an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) test done. This was to check & see if both my tubes were blocked. With the results of the test it turned out that both tubes were blocked. I also remember having no pain, due to no dye passed through the fallopian tubes. Sometimes with an HSG test done if you have minor blockage the test can help to clear out the junk from the fallopian tubes & usually you are able to become pregnant. Sometimes with an HSG test you experience severe cramping, sometimes not- it all depends.

After my HSG test, I went for my 1st consult appt. with an Reproductive endocrinologist. This was to see what could be done about my situation of getting pregnant. All in all I had 3 total consult appts. with R.E's.

Each dr. I went to all told me that since I am young, IVF should work to get me pregnant. I was very hopeful & pretty sure I could become pregnant through IVF.

surgeries & damage from endo

I was scheduled for my first laparoscopy on July 25, 2006. This was done for the cyst on my ovary. I was a bit nervous due to I had never had any type of surgery like this before.
I went in for my laparoscopy, During the surgery my dr. found the cyst & tried to remove as much of it as he could. But it couldn't be done due to the cyst was much bigger than expected.
With the laparoscopy I was home the same night. I have a couple tiny scars in my belly button & on the left side of my stomach.
So... I was told that I would need a laparotomy. I was scheduled for my laparotomy on August 29th, 2006.
During this time I had the remaining cyst removed, in addition I had half of the left ovary removed & half of my left fallopian removed. I was told before surgery I was going to need the whole ovary removed. my remaining ovary was good, so the other half was left. As of now my remaining left ovary is quite bigger than the right ovary. My remaining left tube is swollen/fluid filled.
With having the laparotomy done, I was in the hospital for 2-3 days. This was because having a laparotomy done it's open surgery. From this I have a 6 inch scar across my stomach. The recovery in the hosptial was very tough, the first night was terrible, after surgery: waking up I was in so much pain due to being cut across the stomach. Walking was the toughest part.
During my follow-up appt. after my laparotomy, I was told what was done during my surgery. I was also told that I would need IVF to get pregnant, due to my non-functional left fallopian tube.

In March 2007 I had my 2nd laparoscopy done for another cyst. Before going in for this surgery I went in to the Emergency room, due to a Kidney infection. I had a CT scan to rule out appendicitis. On the CT scan it showed that I did have another cyst on my ovary.
This saved some time for my dr. With my 2nd laparoscopy I had the cyst removed & lysis of adhesions. With having surgery this can cause scar tissue to form.

"chocolate cysts"

I never knew I had ovarian cysts, until I had my first ultrasound done. I went in for a regular check up with my gynecologist. My dr. ordered an ultrasound to check for a cyst on my ovary. With my follow-up appt. I was told that I had a cyst on my ovary, & my dr. suggested I go see an infertility specialist. At the time I had no idea the cause of the cyst.

I wasn't satisfied with my dr. so I wanted a 2nd opinion. I made an appt. with a different dr. regarding the cyst. I was put on Birth control pills, this was supposed to shrink the cyst on my ovary. Birth control pills are usually used for a woman who has a cyst on her ovary; to shrink it. After being on BCP's for a few weeks, I went in for another ultrasound. This was to check the cyst on my ovary. It turned out that the cyst was still there, & not shrinking; it was getting bigger. My dr. then told me that as a last resort I would need a laparoscopy to get rid of the cyst.

With the 2nd dr. I wasn't satisfied at all with how everything was going, so my husband & I wanted yet another dr. to help me.
So... I asked my personal physician to get me a different gynecologist. I went for my dr. appt. my new dr. had me go for another ultrasound to check the progression of the cyst on my ovary.
On the ultrasound it showed the cyst was still there & not shrinking at all.
I went for my next appt. My gynecologist took a look at my ultrasound & said that I would need a laparoscopy for the cyst.

Due to having severe endometriosis it causes painful cysts on the ovary. This is due to severe endometriosis of the ovary. These cysts are quite different, due to they are filled with blood (which is brown) & tissue. A nickname for the endo cysts is called "chocolate cysts".
With having endometriomas Birth control pills donot help to get rid of them.
Sometimes an endo cyst can grow quite quickly. Alot of the time with getting a cyst it can cause damage to the ovary due to it presses on the ovary. Which can cause unhealthy ovarian tissue.

I've had several cysts due to severe endometriosis. This has caused me to need surgery to remove the cysts. So far I have had 2 laparoscopies & 1 laparotomy. Due to having cysts & 3 surgeries it's caused quite a bit of damage to my left ovary. I have had half of my left ovary removed due to damage from an endo cyst. Right now my left ovary is twice as big as the right ovary; most likely I'm thinking from having endometriomas.

There have been a couple of times when the pain has been quite severe, possibly this was due to a cyst rupturing. I remember that being the worst pain I have ever felt.